You make everything glorious

Thank You for encouraging my heart, Lord. 

Our team had a great meeting on Sunday and hangout on Monday. It was refreshing and encouraging to my soul to hear how others struggle with fundraising like me. My team came around me and supported me, praying for me and coming up with all sorts of creative and generous ways to help me. I'm also continually thankful for Kenny, who drives me everywhere I need to be and walks every step of this journey with me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

14%

Well, 13.75% to be exact. Today the first support letters came in! It's going to be a stretch making $1,500 by Monday, but I'm coming up with a few ideas with the help of friends.

What happens if

A dear friend asked me today, "What happens if you don't raise the funds?"

......

I don't go. 

This hit me pretty hard last night and seems to be an overwhelming possibility. It's too early to say, but I feel I will be able to raise an absolute maximum of $1,000.

I believe that God has the power and the resources to provide the money. That's never the question, is it? The question is always... will He?

Why should I believe that He will bring $4,000 to some washed up college grad on the West Coast so she can take an outrageously expensive trip to the other side of the world? Why, especially when there are so many more pressing needs around the world that are not being met?

The fact is that God does not meet every need. I have gone without certain needs many times in my life. Many, many other people in the world go without crucial basic needs- even to the point of death.

But He has promised that He will provide for everything I need to follow Him. He has promised that I can face any need and be content. He has promised I can suffer greatly and still feel joy.

I'm curious to see how that will work.

I still have many questions and heartbreaks over the possibility of failing. First of all, I am in love with Malawi and this church and my team. To not be able to give to them in person is heartbreaking.

Secondly, what a career heartbreak. My attempts to pursue this dream have been a checkerboard with some successes and some failures. This seems like an overwhelming square that will wipe out my checkerboard. The question is, will it be black or white?

Which leads me to my final question. Regardless of the color of this square, I won't give up. With all the strength left in me, I won't give up. But this seems like it could be such a devastating blow to my ability to take risks, I feel that my attempts will go from cliff diving to puddle splashing.

I will support my team, my church and this project the best that I can. If that means doing research and praying from home, I will throw my heart into it.

(Cue emo moment:)

The broken, shattered pieces of it at least.

Alternative Forms of Support

One of the biggest ways that I need support for this trip is financial support (give online on the sidebar!). However, I wanted to write a post about other ways that I would welcome support!

• Prayer support. Pray with me or for me. 
• Support references. Could you refer me to 4-5 other people who would be interested in supporting this project? Many people have a heart for human rights, this is a great chance to get involved!
• Research support. Send me articles, books, facts and news on Malawi and human rights issues in Malawi or the southern Africa region. Interact with the research that I post- ask questions, criticize, comment, compliment. Give me thoughts, counterarguments, alternatives. 
• Fundraisers. Help me host a fundraiser! 
• Come to the Mighty Waters Conference! 

Don't wait, get involved today. Time is flying by until our departure date!

Jann's $60

Back in December, my dear friend from Switzerland gave me $60 for my trip to Africa. I had no definite plans for a trip at that point, it was just a distant dream from childhood that has lingered and grown.

Over the months since then, I have kept it in a hidden pocket of my wallet. Everywhere I went, every time I pulled out money to spend, I saw the $60. It was a precious reminder to me that someone believed enough in my dream to put money on it.

I am so excited to use Jann's $60 to start off this human rights trip. Thanks for believing, Jann.